Most Disappointing Films of 2013

This category does not necessarily mean the film is bad, some are still pretty good, however this selection includes the films I personally felt could have been better. My reasoning behind some of these may seem silly but are here because I was expecting more.

The father/son dynamic was an obvious route to go down for this franchise, however it just doesn’t have the same impact as the original. The twists could be seen coming a mile away and the one-liners that were crow-barred in was the most interesting dialogue throughout the whole movie. There was a chase through the busy streets of Moscow that was quite fun but that was about it! Time to put this one to bed.

This film was pretty – long sunset shots, landscapes and scenery to evoke the emotions. Any evoking done by the beauty of it was then subdued by the painfully slow and aggravating story of the, doomed from the beginning, romance between the two main characters. Olga Kurylenko’s character, Marina, was awful. I disliked her from the start and found through the lengthy film she had no redeeming qualities at all. The long monologues rather than dialogue, in both English and French, seemed a bit pretentious as well. 

This was a long film and the three defined acts made it feel even more so, dislocating the narrative in the process. It starts of well, with speed and purpose, but as time goes on it begins to drag and is unable to find a direction and stick to it. The plot boiled down to a number of coincidences that you just have to go with which annoyed me. It ends bringing events full circle but by that point I just didn’t care about any of them anymore.

I did enjoy this one, mostly because of Johnny Knoxville and it was nice to see Schwarzenegger back on the big screen but I don’t know if it was the hiatus from acting or just that he’s getting old but he was slow (more than usual). The one-on-one fight on the bridge near the end was just ridiculous, in fact I’m pretty sure I just cringed through the whole scene. Perhaps it was the build up for Arnie’s big return that hurt my view on it when it didn’t live up to all his 80s/90s action pieces and even with the big stand-off in the town square the bad guys were forgettable.

[Original Review] Coming out very close to another Mark Wahlberg vessel, 2 Guns, this one seemed to pale in comparison. The camerawork and editing was upbeat and fun, however it couldn’t distract from the inherently unlikable characters. Based on real life events, you would think that with artistic license they could have given some, or even one, of them redeeming qualities. It was a bit long and by the end, there had been plenty of pain but very little gained. 

This one is a tough one, mostly because you cannot fault the performances, the pacing or effects. Ewan McGregor is excellent and Tom Holland is someone to watch. Based on a true story of a family that survived and after much trouble were reunited before flying home after the devastating 2004 Boxing Day tsunami  – lovely ending you think. What leaves a bitter taste in the mouth is that this story just papers over the fact that there were still hundreds of thousands of people who called Thailand home that had just had their lives, homes, livelihoods completely destroyed. But yay, that family was safe!

[Original Review] With the team behind this one, I imagined that it would still be great even if it didn’t quite hit the high marks of the first one. Turns out I was wrong. With this long, disjointed story, it was almost like they were making a spoof movie. The storylines that looked so prominent in trailers were sidetracked for a long journey into a wallowing, self-pitying ‘emotional’ plot which put a downer on the whole shebang. The subtle playfulness between characters still works and could be used more, rather than trying to go bigger with a news team showdown that is blown out of all proportion. More James Marsden is all I can say now.

The concept behind this film is great and thought provoking, as demonstrated when discussing with a friend who would go onto my own ‘purge list’. It’s a little slow to start, good for the purposes of setting up the premise but also gives away some of the bad guys from the get go. So with the suspense pretty much gone, it’s just a waiting game to list the things that can and do go wrong. The second half descends pretty quickly into a farce which barely keeps you interested, then the purge ends and you’re left a bit empty. Creepy, at times yes. Scary, no. Left a good set up for a sequel though. One word – revenge!

I am a great lover of Baz Luhrmann’s work, usually tragic love stories told out on an epic scale with arresting visuals and lovingly crafted (if sometimes slightly batty) characters. In a way, this checked most of the boxes, however there was a shallowness that distracted from the performances. The glitzy, sparkly finish and weirdly hip hop soundtrack (Jay-Z was obviously just given free rein to do what he wanted) did it’s best to cover it up but in the end just sent the whole film off kilter for me.

[Original Review] For all the hype around this film (especially after the disappointment of X-Men Origins: Wolverine) I came out of the cinema wondering if I had seen something different. The format seemed stale and the larger fight scenes flew by too quickly, in a blast of quick cuts that relied too much on its CG elements. It also felt like some characters were underused like Viper and Yukio, instead choosing to focus on the romantic storyline with Mariko - which just wasn’t going to work with Jean Grey hanging about, was it?

The Japanese setting was a refreshing change, if a little clichéd at times, and the armies of yakuza against a powerless Logan was fun. The final showdown between Logan and the Silver Samurai is a letdown though, this time relying on an elaborate plot twist with plenty of talking and no action. Perhaps Wolverine is just one of those characters who needs some well established characters by his side to bounce off to find his full potential. We’ll see how X-Men: Days of Future Past does.


How do you feel about these choices? Agree with my nags or think I’m being pedantic? Either way, come back again soon to see my choices for Worst Film of 2013. That should be fun!